Secrets
by Ms.Jellybean046
Summary: Everyone has certain things about them that would leave others shocked if they found out, even the group. How will they be able to handle their deepest secrets slowly coming out?
1. Pain

**This is my first fanfiction in almost two years. I know my other one was incomplete but I had this idea and I had to write it. Hope you enjoy. =]**

She attempted to walk the halls without making eye contact with anyone. She wasn't used to walking these halls without Beck by her side, even if weeks had past since their breakup. She didn't have any friends to take that place since everyone she once considered her friend either didn't even attempt to pity her or she realized she only tolerated because of Beck. Even her best friend since elementary school, Cat Valentine, seemed nothing more than a fake now.

As she approached her locker, she noticed Beck was closing his transparent locker. _I have no secrets and neither does my locker. _She remembered him saying that to Tori when she was looking for locker ideas. Funny, considering after their first breakup she found out that he almost did it with Alyssa Vaughn. Even a so-called good guy has a few skeletons in his closet.

As his locker closed, Tori Vega appeared. Jade's eyes widened as Tori moved closer to Beck.

"Hey Beck." Tori said a bit too ecstatically.

"Sup Tori." He responded casually.

The two went into a discussion, and although no physical contact was made between them, Jade could still feel jealousy grow in her. She wanted to claw Tori's eyes out, especially after what happened between Tori and Beck after that play Sikowitz forced them to do. What's worse was Jade almost considered…not disliking her anymore. That feeling was gone now and Jade hated Tori even more now, and for once Tori felt the same toward her, maybe stronger than ever.

"What are you doing?" Jade turned to see Cat, standing behind her.

"Nothing, go away" Jade said, viciously.

"Why are you staring at Tori and Beck? I thought you didn't like him anymore."

"Go away."

Cat, being her usual ditzy self, couldn't comprehend that Jade wasn't in the mood for her. "Look, at my new stuffed lion! My mother thought the purple giraffe was too inappropriate so-"

Jade snatched the lion out her hand. Cat gasped as Jade threw the lion and it hit Robbie in the head. Cat chased after it.

Jade sighed and turned back to eavesdrop Beck and Tori again, but they were gone. They probably went to Sikowitz class already. She was about to walk off to class as well, until she turned and saw Cat and Robbie talking to each other still. Somehow Cat was now laughing with Robbie and she was yelling, 'Roar'. It was so obvious Robbie liked her, and yet Cat was so hung up on Beck. She tried to hide it, but Cat couldn't keep a secret even if she tried. Jade remembered that day when the earthquake happened, Beck was so protective of Cat and Jade could do nothing more than watch Beck hold Cat in his arms and Cat being excited about it later, although she tried to hide it. If Jade was over Beck already, Cat would go off about it in one of their late night discussions. No one else knew this, but late at night Jade and Cat would have long conversations through webcam. These conversations consisted of things normal best friends would talk about to each other, such as drama or guys. Occasionally, Jade would make her normal rude comments and Cat would say something completely random or go off about something her crazy brother once did, but other than that, the conversations were normal and something both girls secretly looked forward to. Of course Jade made Cat promise not to say anything about it, which was one thing Cat was able to keep a secret. The last time they had the conversation, which was almost two months ago, Jade had forced Cat to admit she liked Beck, then flipped out at her. Ever since then, Jade and Cat have been distant.

Jade missed Cat deep down, but she tried to ignore it. Ever since her mom abandoned her leaving her with her emotionless dad, she decided that she would have no emotions too. In most peoples eyes, this was true. Jade didn't let anything or anyone faze her. Jade was probably the meanest person in school, and she sure as hell didn't care if she hurt your feelings.

No one, not even Jade, knew that deep down, she had feelings, and they only showed when no one was around. Like how she felt when Tori came to Hollywood Arts. She felt those unwanted insecurities she tried to leave behind in junior high school. That's why she made it her goal to make Tori's life a living hell. In reality, she didn't hate Tori as a person. She just hated…that Tori was better than her. If she had been nicer, maybe she could be just like Tori. She tried being Tori-level nice, once. That made her decide being nice wasn't for her.

The feelings she gets when she realizes why she so-called, 'hates' Tori, is nothing compared to what she felt the night she lost Beck. She didn't even want to think of that night. It was like she lost a part of her.

Remembering that night was too much for Jade. She felt the tears. _No, not now. Not here. _She didn't want those tears to fall. She didn't want everyone to see that Jade West had some feelings deep down. She didn't want everyone to see how vulnerable she was becoming because of her friends and ex-boyfriend.

A tear fell. Jade had to hide now. She didn't care if she was skipping Sikowitz class. She couldn't be seen like this. She turned and saw Cat and Robbie passing by. Robbie didn't notice Jade, but Cat clearly glared at her. She could clearly see the tears in Jades's eyes. If this were two months ago, Cat would run over to Jade, hug her, ask her what was wrong, and Jade would try and rub her bubbliness off on her. But now, possibly because of the lion incident reminding Cat of why her and Jade don't interact, she just walked away.

She felt a pain in her chest, like she was, defeated.

Andre passed by. Andre and her were acquaintances, but he still feared her. She knew that he had feelings for her before, as if it wasn't obvious, but he forgot them simply because of her personality, and she was taken at the time. She never really had anything against Andre, but she didn't want to be bothered by him.

Jade wiped her eyes and started walking passed him. As she began to pass him, he stopped and faced her. "Jade?"

She didn't turn. "What?"

"Are you, crying?" He tried to see her face.

"Leave me alone, okay?" She said, still not turning around.

"You're crying. I just wanted to-"

"I said leave me alone!" She turned and screamed in his face. Suddenly, the remainder of kids in the hallway had their eyes on Jade. She looked around. Normally, she wouldn't care, but now she realized what she had done.

Andre shook his head. "i was only trying to be helpful." He walked away.

That did it. Jade ran as fast as she could. Finally, she reached the janitors closet. This is where she hid to be alone the past couple of weeks. Now this is where she hid to finally cry. She cried and realized, that she was only to blame for everything thats been going on the past few weeks. Her own actions is what led up to her having no one left, even Andre was now pissed at her, and they hardly even interacted. All those years of being mean had consequences, and it cost her her boyfriend and all her friends. Or rather friends who only stayed with her because of Beck and Cat.

After she finished, she looked at herself into her mirror. She could only see her face, but she could see her swelled up eyes, red face, and makeup that was now running everywhere. She looked like what she had become, a monster.

She couldn't take it anymore. She hated the overwhelming pain that she now felt. She wanted to go back to feeling nothing than feeling this.

That's when she pulled out the scissors that her best friend had given her for Christmas. No one understood the reason behind why she loved scissors so much but Cat.

She decided that if she was going to feel pain, she'd have no choice but to bring back an old habit she quit over three years ago.

She lifted up her sleeve, and glared at her her wrist. Her wrists were full of deep scars, which is why she wore long sleeves all the time. The last one was the deepest of all, and had probably the strongest meaning of all, which made her stop.

However, the reason was insignificant now, so she had nothing stopping her from digging the scissor deep into her skin and running it through.

She twitched a little. It was so long since she did this that she wasn't used to inflicting her own pain again. She didn't care though, and did it once again.

Because she'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

**So what did you guys think? I'm going to be doing a new character each chapter before I start bringing them together, by the way.**


	2. The Secret Life

**So I decided to make the story in first person to have it make more sense. I know the first chapter was in third but from this chapter on it will be in first. =)**

_Cat _

I felt the tears flow down my cheeks as I laid facedown on my bed. I couldn't believe it, the one girl I had trusted since I was a child betrayed me. I knew Jade was going through tough times now but she could open up to me. I had always confided in her, so why couldn't she do the same with me.

I know Jade and I weren't always one hundred percent honest with each other, but we still were probably the best form of close friends we could make. We shared one thing in common for sure, and that was being different from everyone else. I guess that's why we become best friends. Too bad we kept so many secrets it caught up to us. Being best friends means that you can tell each other everything without having to worry about being judged.

For example, I am not really stupid and overly happy all the time, as you can see. In fact, that little act I put on is all part of an act. If you hear the name 'Cat Valentine', you think of a gullible, optimistic redhead whose crazy yet lovable, right? That's just who I am when I'm with others.

Nobody would ever figure out about Catherine Valentine, whose pretty much your average teenager with normal, uninteresting issues. Well maybe just one deep dark secret that I could never speak of. No one knows any of this because I'm probably one of the best damn actresses you'll ever meet, which is just another thing to add to my list of talents. I don't believe I need to share them though because it's not a secret, everyone knows them.

My Pearphone went off. I had two texts. One was from Beck, asking if I was okay. I had a little breakdown in theatre class today. No worries, everyone had just thought it was all a part of me, or rather my alter ego. I guess this is also the perfect timing to say that me liking Beck was all part of my acting too. I don't think of Beck as anything more than a close friend. My 'crush' on him was just to both get Jade back and to hide my true crush, a certain boy with curly hair and glasses. I have to be forced to hide it though, you know for protection.

The second text caught my attention.

I sighed, it was that time of night. Or rather, too early for it. Normally I expect this to happen around nine o' clock. Right now it was only seven. I had to go out though, my life depended on it. Literally.

I entered the skate park. It was pitch black outside, yet a few teenage boys were still hanging around. No one I was expecting was there yet though.

"Catherine, fancy seeing you here."

I turn and see a tall guy, about my brother's height, with long black hair. He's holding a skateboard, so I can tell he's just one of the skaters. "Um it's Cat, and I don't know you." I used my sweet, innocent voice. Oh yeah, that's fake too.

"You don't recognize me?" He asked.

I looked harder, then I realized. "Oh my God, you're..."

He nodded. "Michael. Your brothers ex-best friend." He put emphasis on the ex.

"Well, um, nice seeing you Michael." I said.

"Nice seeing you too. By the way, I think you should leave."

"Um, no. My brother makes me come here every day. If I don't come, he'll-"

"I know, I know, he told me everything back when we were friends. However, him and his gang are up to something. Leave, now."

Why was this guy I barely knew giving me orders? "Look, I really value my life and if I leave, I'll lose it, so please leave me alone."

Michael shook his head. "Don't say I didn't warn ya."

What was his deal? Anyways, I waited for a bit longer, but the park got emptier and no one seemed to be showing up. As I grew tired, one of my brothers friends finally showed up.

"You're Kenny's little sis?" He asked.

The man was big and sweaty. I could tell by the slur in his voice that he was drunk. I gulped. I did not like being alone in this skate park with my brothers friends. I nodded slowly.

He smirked. "Don't worry, he's on his way."

"Kay." I turned away, but I could feel him still staring. I tried to focus on the skaters, to see if they looked like the type of people who would actually care to help a stranger if she was attacked by a weird man, but he wouldn't take his eyes off me. I stood there motionless, scared that he'd think I was trying to escape if I moved.

Where the hell was my brother?

"Those skaters are interesting, eh?" He asked.

I bit my lip and shook my head.

"So, you wanna go to the other side?" He touched my shoulder. "It's a lot quieter, and those skaters won't be there. We could talk, or something." He winked.

I shook my head.

"Kenny's not gonna like that."

I turned away. I was unsure what to do. My brother has forced me to put up with a lot of creeps, but he was always usually here before they even touched me.

"Look at me, Catherine. I won't hurt you."

"Stop." I mumbled.

"I promise I won't do anything you want, just look at me." I didn't turn. Suddenly, he grabbed my arm violently and screamed, "I said, _Look at me." _

I turned back, startled. His voice suddenly got calmer. "Just keep quiet, and I won't hurt you." He didn't let go of me.

My eyes got teary. I knew very well what was going to happen, and there was nothing I could do about it. If I screamed for help, he'd probably kill me. If I didn't, well we all know what would happen. I had no escape, it was either get raped or get killed.

"Cat!" I heard a voice yell.

I tried to turn to see who it was, but the man grabbed me by the hair and covered my mouth. "Don't move!" H demanded. "Whose there?"

There was no answer. Then suddenly, I felt someone shove me toward the ground. The force of the push was so strong I fell hard against the ground.

I wasn't physically conscious for a few moments. I could taste the blood coming out my mouth. I could hear the squealing sound, the punching, someone screaming "Die you bastard!" repeatedly, and then silence. After a few moments I grew the strength to lift my head up to see the two people in front of me.

One was the man, who was now laying on the ground. His body was still and his clothes were soaked in blood. A stabbing wound went right through his chest. He was _dead. _

__I then looked up at a tall figure, who held a bloody knife in his hand. Despite the darkness, I was able to make out who it was.

I screamed.

**So there you go. Sorry I haven't updated in two weeks, I was busy with stuff. I promise the next chapter will come sooner. I know this chapter was long and not as great as the first, but I needed to have a lot going on to show what type of person Cat "really" is in in the story. A lot of characters are going to be OOC in this story.**


	3. How Not to Cope with a Broken Heart

**_Beck's POV_**

****I sat there, reminicing about last night. It had just been one of those nights, you know? Even us good guys have to loosen up every now and then. Robbie was there too, but he was too focused on being the knight in shining armor for the 'love of his life'. Love, that word has lost all its significance to me now, especially after it pratically stabbed me in the chest weeks ago. That didn't matter anymore, though. I was completely fine without love. For the first time in three years, I no longer felt tied down and isolated from the world. I could run around and do whatever the hell I wanted without worrying about getting screamed at for it. I could be wild and carefree, and show the world a side of me that was waiting to come out all these years. I was free.

Well not now, anyway. I was trapped in this classroom, forced to listen to some lecture about the Cold War, or maybe it was World War II, for another ten minutes. My face was clearly buried in my arms tho and my head was throbbing like crazy. My stomach felt woozy and I swore I was going to vomit any second. The teacher seemed to understand what I was going through considering I come here every Monday like this.

Finally, the bell rang, I lifted my head up and I was about to get up. Then, Tori comes toward me. She's wearing ripped skinny jeans and an oversized leather black coat. It's weird how her style has changed lately. I've been meaning to ask her what's going on, but I'm too busy I guess. What caught my attention was how concerned she looked.

"Beck!" She said, sounding out of breath.

"Sup, Tori?"

"You won't believe what happened to Cat last night! And Robbie disappeared last night too! Isn't that-" She looked at me, noticing that I was spaced out. "Are you even listening?"

"Yeah." I said, unconvincingly.

"You don't even care! I bet you didn't even notice that Robbie ditched you at the party! I bet you were so busy getting wasted you didn't even notice that two of your friends were in danger!"

"Listen, Tori, I'm not in the mood."

"You're never in the mood anymore! All you ever do these days is drink, and party! It's like you've forgotten us." She was practically yelling now. I knew in a way she was right. I was slowly becoming a bit to careless toward my friends, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to expirience something I never did before, freedom. Even before dating that gank, I was stuck as the faithful, loyal Beck. I wanted to let go of that title for a while. Besides, I was dealing with my own problems right now, like this killer hangover.

"Tori, please..."

"No, I'm tired of this bull! I seem to be the only one trying to keep this group together these days! Don't you know how tiring that is? And of everyone, I thougt you and Andre were the ones I could trust. But Andre's dealing with bigger problems than a stupid hangover, and ever since you and Jade broke up-"

"Never mention that name around me!" I snapped. Suddenly, several heads turned toward me. I looked at Tori, who looked startled. I had never gotten loud at Tori before. Her eyes got teary. She shook her head and started walking away. Instantly, I felt sorry. I had been like this too often lately. It was like the alcohol was consuming my brain. I acted like an ass when I was drunk and hungover until someone I once cared about got hurt.

What was wrong with me?

"Tori, I-"

"Just forget it!" She got up and started walking toward the door. I called for her, but she never turned back.

I was ready to chase after her, you know because she's the closest friend I have right now. However, Regina Williams got in my way. Regina is one of the hottest girls in the school. I remember we made out at a party the other week. Or maybe it was her best friend, Amanda? I don't even remember.

Ever since I broke up with...you-know-who, I've taken advantage of the fact that I can get any girl I wanted. What, you seriously believed I never thought of cheating on Jade at least once? The hottest girls in school dreamed of hooking up with me, but I only denied them because I had a girlfriend who freaking collected sharp objects.

"Hey Beck." She said in a flirtacious voice.

"Hey, Gina." I responded, trying to look cool. I wanted to catch Tori, but I couldn't turn down this opprotunity.

"So Beck, I heard what you and Sophie did last night."

Sophie? Who the hell was that. I have a vague memory of someone named Sophie, but I blacked out so much I couldn't remember a thing. That's the thing that sucks about being drunk, everyone remembers what you did but you.

"Don't tell me you forgot?"

"Oh no, of course. I'd never forget a girl."

Lies.

"Great, so you also remember that I asked you first and you said no?"

I did? "Oh really? Well um..."

"No worries. I know it was the alcohol speaking. Just like it was when you banged her, right?"

Why can't I remember anything? "Yeah, I guess."

Regina sighed in relief. "Good, because I was hoping you could make up for it this Friday?" She winked. "There's a party at my house on Saturday."

"Sure, I'm down for it."

"Great. Amanda's gonna be there, try and stay away from her, kay?"

Wow, Regina sure was pushy, but she was hot too, so why not? "Okay, I'll be there."

"Great. See you there." She walked away with a grin.

For a moment, I almost felt like chasing Tori down to make sure she was okay. I lost so much the past few weeks, since I was always tuning out reality with drinking and partying.

Then again, I kind of liked my new way of life.

**Sorry I took long to update. I've been on Spring Break, but I've been busy so it took a while to finish this. I know Beck was really OOC, but I really wanted him to be a jerk in the story. I mean, Beck is one of my favorites, but I kind of wanted to mess with his character. The next chapter should be done quickly since I have it more planned out, but anyway tell me what you think ^.^**


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